I was fortunate to receive an advance review copy of the book and, as I was reading, I kept thinking that the lessons he was sharing are important for mom bloggers as well. I reached out to Guy to ask if I could share some of his wisdom by using his chapter subtitles in my column. I’m not sure if he misunderstood my request or thought it was a fabulous idea, but he agreed. The subtitles (in bold) are from Guy’s book, but the interpretations for bloggers are my own. I hope I can do them justice, but I do recommend reading the book in full as it contains pages of wisdom and delicious anecdotes. This column is inspired by the chapter, “How to Achieve Likability.”

Accept Others – Guy says, “People deserve a break.” I hope that more of us are able to buy into this particular message, which simply states that all of us have our own “stuff” to deal with. You never know if the person you’re interacting with (online or off) is dealing with a divorce, life-threatening illness, or looming foreclosure on their home. Remembering that we’re each different, that we don’t need to agree, that there isn’t only one way to be a good parent, and that we could all “deserve a break” is a fantastic way to promote harmony in our community. And it makes you all that much more likable.

Get Close – Proximity breeds familiarity and it is difficult to truly like someone if you don’t know them at all. Indeed, Guy says, “Presence makes the heart grow fonder.” I know this to be true from my own experiences with blogging conferences and local events. It’s easy to tuck yourself away in your office and write. Get out there and meet other people. It’s worth it.

Don’t Impose Your Values – I read a post the other day that insisted that getting up and dressed in the morning was a sure-fire way to have a more productive day and then implied that people who don’t are lazy. I wasn’t enchanted. The idea that what you’re wearing, or how your hair looks, is important is a value statement. And it’s one that we don’t share equally. I personally am more productive in comfy clothes and having more time to spend working (rather than primping). It doesn’t make me lazy; it’s just a different perspective on the world. This author lost a reader by giving advice that not only assumed a certain value set, but framed other values as being invalid. Being judgmental and controversial is one way to drum up comments, but it doesn’t always make you likable.

Pursue and Project Your Passions – This should be the slogan for bloggers everywhere. I recently had the experience of being at a trade show with a blogger who had no personal interest in the products on display. When she asked me which items she should write about, I was at a loss. Why would you blog about a topic that doesn’t interest you? Writing about topics that you are passionate about allows your personality to shine through. It’s what helps people connect to you through your writing.

Find Shared Passions – Find like blogs and comment on them. This is a well-known Internet marketing technique, but it’s far more valuable than simply a way to bring in readers. Sure, it might drive readers to your site but, more importantly, it creates a sense of community, builds relationships, and gives a little boost to the author. This is how many close blogging friendships and partnerships are born.

Create Win-Win Situations – There is a perception sometimes that we’re all competing against one another for traffic, for advertising and for opportunities. This is simply not true. The strength of the mom blogging voice lies in our numbers, not in our competitive natures. Promote good content other bloggers write. Not only will they appreciate it, but your readers will as well. Pass along opportunities that you can’t take on. You never know when someone will turn the tables and do something amazing for you. And take some time to mentor new bloggers. The success of one of us shines a positive light on the entire community.

While it’s true that being “likable” isn’t – and shouldn’t be – the only priority for bloggers, it’s a sure-fire way to build readership, make friends, and maybe even influence people. Besides, couldn’t we all use a little enchantment in our lives?

Disclosure: I received a complimentary copy of Enchantment for review purposes. There was no promise of positive coverage and the opinions contained in this post are my own.

Christy Matte

Christy Matte has been online since 1989 and has a bit of a “been there, done that” attitude about the Internet. She’s a freelance writer and consultant, as well as the work-at-home mom of two young kids. She officially started blogging in 2001, but became a “Mom Blogger” in 2005 with the birth of her son. Now, Christy blogs with varying degrees of consistency at MorethanMommy, QuirkyFusion, and ChristyMatte.com. An avid techie, she also covers Family Computing for About.com, reviews apps with Common Sense Media, and tries not to spend too much time playing video games. Christy has spoken at a variety of blogging, social media and tech conferences, including the Consumer Electronics Show, BlogHer, Blissdom, Blogalicious, and Engage Expo. She is co-founder of the social and networking group, Boston Parent Bloggers.

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