Social Media Quid Pro Quo – Do You Give as Good as You Get?
Or they might be more targeted and only go to a small blog community or private group. Either way chances are that you are being called upon to take action on someone else’s behalf at least a couple of times a week. There’s also a good chance that you are asking the same thing of your followers, friends and blog buddies. Or, maybe not. Are your social media relationships balanced?
I am one of those people who are not comfortable asking things of other people. Even from people for whom I’ve done numerous favors. In real life it means I take on too many projects and find myself brainstorming for others when I should be focusing on myself. In the social media world it means I haven’t promoted my work and myself as much as I could have. I am always happy to vote for friends’ posts, speaker proposals, blogs and other promotions because I believe in them and their voices. So when I launched a new venture recently and called upon people in my circle that I have supported and rooted for in various ways both on and offline I was truly disappointed in the poor response and it has made me rethink my relationships in all areas.
I’ve learned a lot over the past few months about many of my friendships – whether they were social media “friends” or friends I actually see face to face. There were people who came through for me who I barely know in “real life” and people who I consider part of my everyday world that didn’t. It was a lesson in reciprocity and expectations. And in many ways it was a lesson in social media marketing. I give a lot of advice to others (including you readers!) on social media branding and best practices, but putting it to work for myself has made me rethink some of that advice.
Lifting others up is great but so is taking care of your self. I have been to many conferences lately where everyone talks about doing for others, commenting across other blogs, retweeting and sharing other people’s posts because they will then do the same for you. I have found this not to be entirely true. Some people are takers and some are givers and social media is full of both types. So I am pruning my social media tree and I think I will be better off for it. By focusing and nurturing the relationships that really are balanced I think my social media life will be richer and more rewarding. At the very least I will know my vote or share is well deserved.
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I try to focus my attention on myself & my actions, am I being mindful of others? what have I done TODAY to promote at least one other blogger? You will find users & opportunists in every community but the fact that those people exist does not in anyway detract from the efforts you make to support others!
I worry about keeping my act straight, being a true friend who can be there when others need some uplifting. Figure if I focus just on that, I will surround myself with an equally supportive,awesome community naturally.
Thanks for this great post, you’re always a good read :)
I hear you!!! Sometimes this is really disheartening and frustrating. So, first, for me, is I have to adjust my expectations and try to NOT get disappointed and take it as a personal affront…and then, second, yes, I have to readjust my priorities. I won’t do for others only if there’s a returned favor, but I have to be careful not to over-extend myself!
I love the last comment as I think it means we probably aren’t great conference session co-presenters are we? At least if we have to ask people to make it a session! We should just sit on a couch and start espousing all this stuff to whoever passes by.:)
In the past, I can think of two things I’ve reached out for and I was so uncomfortable about it that I found myself almost not wanting the prize at all. The weird thing is, I have no problem supporting people when they ask me but no matter how much I give I never feel comfortable asking back.
I loathe getting the pop up messages from people on Facebook to vote for them.
Sadly, I know exactly where you are coming from. There are soooo many people in my SM world who pretty much ONLY reach out when they want me to do something for them. But then “have too much on their plate” when I ask for something simple. I’m not going to stop helping others out. But I am going to limit it to people I think are worth helping out on and off the screen.
I couldn’t agree more…SM is a two-way street…often people are just spewers of one-way information – and rarely engage in two-way interaction. EG I only follow people on twitter who I see engage with others offering valuable content. If I don’t see any RTs or responses to other conversations – I won’t engage with them either.
It’s very interesting isn’t it? I think my least favorite part of SM is the part that reflects the worst of everyday life – the popularity contests, the campaigning and comparisons. There are so many people who want to pump up themselves but don’t get that that is not engagement it’s just self-promotion.
1) Feel the same way
2) Stumbled you because I thought this was well written and I am not even going to ask for a stumble back. ;)
This was great. You said everything that I have been feeling.
I love that you’re sharing your real struggles with us! I’ve found it’s usually SO mixed when I ask for support. Sometimes what I’m asking just doesn’t resonate with people, maybe like you it’s because I find it awkward, so I end up not asking in a way that grabs people?
Anyway, FWIW I think there are always going to be people who take and people who give, and in the end it’s up to you who you trust to support you and be there for you.
I think this would make a really good conference session, as women we don’t often take care of ourselves first.
I would love to turn this into a conference session – but not if I have to ask people to vote for it!!