Event Etiquette – Should You Have That 3rd Glass of Wine?
This past week an email from Yelp to its “elite” group of Yelpers was leaked to Gawker and caused quite a few laughs. It seems that many of these elite reviewers were behaving embarrassingly badly and Yelp felt the need to send this…
“Much to our chagrin, the staff at several events has commented on the fact that occasionally some members of the Elite Squad at meals can be likened to an Animal Planet feeding frenzy, as certain people descend on appetizers as though they have not eaten in weeks.”
They also scolded reviewers for auctioning off RSVPs, adding plus “fours” and not showing up after RSVP’ing yes. While this is certainly an extreme version of guests behaving badly at an event it does echo some of the stories I’ve heard lately about press junkets where bloggers have left their manners at the door.
When you are invited to an event you are representing yourself, your blog and any other outlets for which you write. If you’re being sponsored at a conference you are also representing a brand. The blogging business can feel very casual and chummy but make no mistake about it if you want to taken seriously you have to act the part. Here are some basic tips that may seem obvious but bear repeating:
1) Don’t have that 3rd drink. Or maybe even the 2nd. You may think you are getting more charming with every sip you take but chances are you will be louder, sillier and less professional by the glass. This is a business event not a frat party.
2) Don’t monopolize the host or sponsor. If someone is holding a junket or event they are doing so in order to meet and influence as many bloggers/press as possible. Let them. Make a good impression, engage them in genuine conversation and ask some good questions, then let them move on and follow up via email a few days later.
3) RSVP either way. It is just common courtesy and good business. Unless the event invite is so egregious and insulting to you (which certainly does happen) you should email your response and let them know if you’re coming. PR reps work on many brands and often move companies, it behooves you to be polite and help them arrange their event as easily as possible.
Finally, if you want your blog to grow and more opportunities to come your way, act like it. If you don’t take yourself seriously no one else will.
I have been to events that have gone both ways. I always like to remember what happened the night before.
AMEN. To all of it.
I can’t understand people who go to brand-hosted events and act like it’s a free-for-all.
Great post and I could not agree more. I also am the type that does not have to drink to have a good time. I am a one glass person. And you may see me with that same glass all night sipping slowly while mingling.
I have been at events where the silly did get a bit out of control. And you have to realize that you can just be guilty by association too. If you are around a person or group and you start to feel a little uncomfy about the attention being brought to your table, it may be a good time to excuse yourself.
I have had this conversation with IRL friends also. It just takes common sense to know that you should behave at such events. You never know who is watching, or snapping, or recording… And another tip is to watch what photos you yourself put up on the web. There are some that I know which have nothing but photos of them drinking on FB. Very professional. NOT!
Yes, it’s so important to stay professional while having fun.
Great post!
I was surprised at the amount of people at Blissdom who were drinking SO much and staying out so late.
I just had some conversations about this recently. Many of us felt you really need to read your hosts during the event. Some are much more business like than others, follow suit but still be yourself. I have found (and some of my blogging friends) that there are some people who are very stiff and quiet at events though also which I think can be just as bad as being a little too silly or out there. If you are brought in to have a discussion with a brand and other bloggers but you say nothing, how is that helpful to the brand or yourself in learning more?
Even if I have zero drinks, I tend to be that person who laughs a lot and talks a lot and asks a lot of questions at events. That is just my personality always, has been since I was a kid. I do always try to be respectful and shut up as needed though :-)
Great topic!
You are among the lucky with a high social IQ. I think it is truly a gift to be able to walk into an event and be comfortable enough to walk up to people, start a conversation and add to the life of the evening without relying on a drink – or just staying with the people you already know. I totally agree that being the wallflower busy texting away on your phone in a corner isn’t going to do any good either – but I think there has to be an in between. You should write the column about how to be at ease at those things and make some friends without having 3 drinks (or more)!
I really just tell myself that others don’t know each other either. At BlogHer last year I was sitting in the bar the night before and I just asked all the women walking around with a dazed look in their eye if they were bloggers – almost all said yes. I told them they were welcome to sit down and join me, it quickly grew into a fairly large crowd and we all were able to feel more comfortable and less alone!
Robyn,
You definitely put me at ease at #SMBSTL! I always feel a little nervous at conferences or meetups, and I don’t know what to say! ;-)
Glad to be a friendly face! I don’t always know what to do either, but I just jump in and start talking, someone always starts talking back :-)
This is a great post and very relevant.
We all need to hold ourselves up to professional standards when at social media events – even if it is a party. I am a lightweight so I always keep to one glass during social media events where there are sponsors or just cameras. Seriously – any event can be captured with the amount of gadgets that have camera and video functionality. i was just talking to a friend that I made it through numerous CES parties with little drinking because I knew I would be talking with sponsors and others in the tech industry.
I realized that I can still let loose – in a professional way that if any pictures are loaded to Facebook or put on a blog that it would be fine. Or that I remember that we have brands and need to represent those brands with respect either online or when out at events. The most important thing at these events is to network and have fun with limits. And I always especially let loose when I meet my blogger friends for Karaoke, because luckily I am known for my tech expertise and not my singing voice…
LOL – I guess all you need to worry about at karaoke events is that it will end up on YouTube! I haven’t seen terrible event etiquette to the point where I was embarrassed for someone, but I’ve had a few people relate stories to me lately about very high end junkets where bloggers really made fools of themselves and made everyone uncomfortable. That’s not good for any of us.